I Dream of Baby

Do babies dream? If so, what, exactly, do babies dream about? After doing extensive research (none, actually), I have developed the following educated conjecture:

Yes, babies dream. Someone with a baby-brain-scanner thing-a-ma-jig may be able to prove me wrong, but my guess is that only evil mad scientists have baby-brain-scanner thing-a-ma-jigs anyway, so I pretty much rule their opinions out. Unless, of course, the mad scientists with the baby-brain-scanner thing-a-ma-jig happens to agree with me. Then perhaps the title 'mad' scientist doesn't apply. Maybe something more like 'somewhat-irked' scientist, or 'looney-tunes' scientist, is more applicable.

Back to baby dreams ...

A sleeping baby appears to exhibit the same signs of dreaming and REM (Random Eye Movement) sleep that we adults do. Their eyes twitch. They make hilarious and adorable facial expressions while asleep. Sometimes even 'Zoolander-esque' poses; you know, with the lips puckered and the eyebrows raised? Great movie, by the way. Except you may not find it particularly funny until the second viewing. Unless your first viewing is with a crowd that's memorized the funniest lines, and then you may find the first viewing to be funnier than I thought it was. My second viewing ... stellar.

Back to baby dreams ...

So then, given that babies dream, what can they possibly dream about? All my dreams have to do with jumbled up things in my memory, like vampire vacuums, or me as Michael Knight in an Embassy Suites hotel with KITT driving down the hallway on two wheels only ... those kind of dreams. But babies don't have memories of vacuums, or cheesy 1980's television shows starring David Hasselhoff. Their only memories are of floating in a salty balloon, getting shoved through a tunnel, sucking down milk and pooping it out. Not a whole lot to jumble up to make entertaining dreams, is there? I sure hope my boy isn't dreaming about being propelled by poop through a tunnel filled with salty milk. That's just nasty.

Maybe there's another option. Maybe God uses our dreams to talk to us, and maybe the only thing about dreams we remember are the parts that somehow relate to our previous wacky memories. Thus, when God speaks to us adults in dreams, we remember talking cars or how we're afraid of heights, as we plummet off a cliff. But when babies dream, they don't have memories to foul things up, and maybe they simply hear what God is saying. Maybe. Or maybe I just dreamt this up.